What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

How were cows used in ancient India?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Why has no country adopted the SA80/L85 rifle?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Why do so many men wait until they are retired or close to it to start having sex with Men? Most of them say they have always wanted to suck dick or be fucked. Why did you wait?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

He said he loves me, but why is it difficult for him to leave his wife?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Is a man over 50 not married no kids a red flag?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

I am 13 and I am planning to run away. What should I do to succeed?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

What are some ways to cope with paranoid thoughts about being gangstalked or targeted individuals?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Has anyone ever made you take off your shirt?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

TEXT:

What is it like to have an insanely beautiful girlfriend?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Why do people stay in cults after they have joined?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

What are some reasons for the widespread dislike of President Trump? In your opinion, has he been a good or bad president?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.